OMG……..OMG…….OMG so much has happened since my last blog post (god knows when, cos i sure dont!). Christmas has been and gone, new year too, lots of news, none of it particularly good, for about 3 months koreans were cool……..and yeah, thats about it really……….

Well i suppose im sticking to some sort of cliché by being a mild insomniac and writing at 4.30 in the morning, im not really an insomniac just tonight, my mind is at like 10 thoughts a minute, whereas normally im so chilled its at like 2 - where is the nearest coke and what can i do to further relax myself next…..

Speaking of relaxing oneself (insert wank joke here, cos im too lazy to do so…..) exam period is upon us students in the month of january, and if you hadn’t already noticed a large amount of your friends running round like headless chickens, then you will notice them posting nervous facebook updates and pseudo-reassuring messages on group walls telling everyone “its not too bad”, “its only X%”, “revise X, Y and Z”. AND Z! can you believe it! here was me thinking X and Y was enough (although truth be told i only did X, but keep that to yourself, whoever is reading this) 

So relaxing yourself……

1. set realistic goals - now i know everyone wants a first and thats all fine and dandy, but there comes a time when you just gotta think, i cant reach for the stars because i dont have a rocket, so ill aim for the ceiling, cos i can stand on the table (if you are wondering, that is an inverted paraphrase of a well known saying about aiming for stars, cos im smart like that!) 

2. spend some time with people! - cannot underestimate the importance of being sociable, human to human communication can literally safe lives, boost self esteem, increase mood, and as a by-product increase productivity when you eventually start working again, so make sure you have some people around you wanna spend time with, if you dont go get some!

ok that last one was a bit psych-y right so ill go back to being stupid and externalising all thoughts……..

3. Chicken……wait for it……WINGS - yes you heard me, god damn it i looooooove wings! nah ok it doesnt have to be wings, but food, any food that makes you happy, forget the waistline for a bit, you’ll be so stressed with exams that your digestive system wont even be able to process a proper diet, so why bother trying!!! 

4. Oh alcohol you fixer of problems, healer of worlds, soother of the soul, and inhibition remover for the brain…….ok maybe not while your revising, or just before the exam, but the second that exam is over………DRINK TIL IM SICK!!! (its a reference, if you’re in the minority reading this, and the further minority that understood it then i salut you, and if you’re female then…..well thats too damn unlikely……) so yeah plan something fun to do after exams, be it a nice meal with some flatmates, a night out, sex, hiring a prostitute, who knows! whatever you like! itll be a great bit of motivation to really put in some effort for those last few days! 

Aaaaaaand finally at number 5………

Actually.Chill.The.Fuck.Out

there i said it, not only does a negative and stressful mood project onto other people, but it creates a sense of panic inside that really doesn’t need to be there, this exam period isnt going to be the end of the world, that was at the end of december and look how that turned out…..not that important……and in the grand scheme of things, there is a slight possibility that you are over exaggerating the importance of this exam(s). though of course im not saying that everyone does that, all i am saying is, have a happy mind and itll work better! (god that sounded like something out of disney…although even that is gonna be sounding a lot more like “luke, i am your father”) 

So thats it, thats my guide, at 4.50am uk time, thats the best i can do, at least now anyway. I like projecting some stuff on here, with the bad news that has come my way i might be making some more posts! look forward to a new level of intensity coming your way!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

oh man im just gonna sit here and wait for the sympathy comments to roll in from people all over the internet, cos of all my bad news……..oh man i forgot about 3 people read this…….and they know the news………shit

BAM, thats what creativity feels like, not that id know of course i doubt a rabble online counts as being creative but when i get an idea of what to write about, its like a bolt of lightening straight to the face Thats right……the face…. And you gotta run with that bolt as soon as it hits you, unless of course your marty mcfly and doc brown in which case you can just channel the 1.21 gigawatts into the……actually im gonna stop right there. The point is, when you get idea in your head you gotta roll with it, you gotta take your time, you gotta……well you get the idea Back to the title!!! So the strange thing with ears is that (aside from the 200+ bones in them), we all have them but we never really use them, sure we hear things, like i heard one direction at the olympics, but i never really listened…..partially cos i think they are bollocks, no wait, thats an insult to testicles….. But yeah listening is one of those things that very few people do nowadays which is a shame, its probably because who needs to hear things from people anymore when something is plastered all over every social network within 5 minutes of its occurance. The problem with the habbit of plastering social network sites with undesirable news items is that it encourages the wrong sort of attention, not the genuine attention you would get from talking to a person, instead of a blue bordered webpage (yes facebook im talking about you). Maybe these public outbursts are just the final straw of someone who has had to deal with too much shit this week, maybe its the ravings of an attention whore but remember….. on facebook…… no one can hear you scream….. Hahahaha i thought that last line wasnt bad, even if i say so myself, see the reason i dont have any of these outbursts isnt because im good at penting up frustration or anger or disappointment, it is literally because i have none, having said that im yet to lose a family member or be dumped so hold your breath for depressing statuses and song lyrics that speak of my pain and suffering. Of course im not suggesting that everyone lives like me (which is probably the human equivalent to a koala bears life) but you know, if youve got problems that need sorting, you need some help then just remember this post, and that no one gives a shit what you write on facebook…….im sorry the truth hurts sometimes This paragraph is like the blog equivalent of small print in which id like to say that this particular post does not relate to anyone real, any connection to a person or event in real life is merely coincidental and should not be taken as an attack on any person, relative of said person, pet of said person or once again said person, thank you for reading (yes all 2 of you) and let us all hope i get struck by lightening again soon!